6 days before love (HA)

hmmmmm so much on my mind, so much to say, so much Im thinking, so much that needs to be done........first all, I finished my last post at 420 **tehehehehe** I just thought that was funny.  Anyways, I fell out with my dad the other day and now Im feeling really bad.  I know my parents love me very much and they will do anything for me, but I need them to respect my way of life.  Ive always been the type that once my mind is made up to do something, im going to do it......thats that.....thats me and thats never going to change.  Call me stubborn or selfish, but its me.  Anyways, Im going to call my mom tomorrow b/c she always has my back b/c she understands how I feel.  Love life: BLAH! I dont have one of those.  Im single and want to remain that way.  If im worth the effort, then pursue me. Im a good woman and I know it.  I like him.  He puts up with me *tehehe* and I like it.  I submit at time, i'll admit, but I just dont know......I still have to work on me.  Anyways.  I have no choice but to start this catering at full speed ahead.  Im going to call Sade (a chick I met at bank of america) and see whats up with these club hook ups.  See if we can cater at a club one night and and get it going.  Im going to stay focused and work on me.........Now I will focus on how Im going to put together this cookbook......Its going to be fun.  I think about it all the time and I want it unique, something that represents me....unique. The kids are great!! I  am going to introduce them on ustream. My goddaughter is on there, she made a debut first...........lol.......I love all my kids the same.  I just want the best for them.  I want to do better so they can have better.  I just want everybody to be happy.  Surround myself with love and happiness. Positive energy.  I want to be successful and I am going to be successful.  Habakkuh 2:1-4...........I have faith, I pray.....I walk by faith.......OAN: Im so hungry, but I have no appetite.....A little stressed, Im only human........Peacefully, I shall sleep and when the sunrises, If the Father allows me to see another day, I will pray and walk.............I sleep with my mustardseed.......

Day 1

I have decided to blog all of my thoughts.  Noone knows who I am, noone knows what I am really thinking sometimes.  Although I tell people the truth about themselves, in a nice way of course, I still hold back a lot of things.  This is not to bash anyone, but to let people into my thoughts.  I have decided to write in her everyday and maybe publish it next year.  Lets start of with my love life. UGH..Its a doozey!! I really like this guy,  He's smart, HILARIOUS, great personality, he keeps things very open and honest, he has a career, he has his own things, (house, car, etc), he takes care of his children, even ones that may not be his.  I can see myself dating him exclusivly, but the problem is I just got out of a relationship and I dont want to ruch into anything.  Another truth is, Im afraid of having my heart broken again.  Yes, we all have to go thru heartbreaks to find true love, but Im not up for it.  I was raised to be a mother, wife, career woman. I dont know anything else.  I have been married before and I dont want to get married again.  Deep down, I do, but I will not get married again.  Once I catch feelings for someone, I run.  Run away from the possiblities of getting my heart broken........I am in the process of getting my CDL and becoming an over the road truck driver.  That way I cant possibly have a love life.  I will just love my kids.......thats all that matters at this point anyways.  My friend, my prospect has not given up on me.  he calls me every night and every morning... Even though his point of views are kinda jacked up lol I still like him.   He says that monogamy is not natural and that men are going to cheat.  I dont want a cheater. 
Career:  right now I am working for Bank Of america doing seasonal taxes for businesses.  Its been a long time coming after being out of work since April.  Its been stressful, no unemployment...My parents have been doing everything for me and I cant stand that.  I like having my own money and doing what I want with it.  I hate asking people for anything.  I want to get right so I can open up a business for myself and determine my own fate, my own future.  sign my own checks.  My goals for this year......finally get my 1st book out there, Behind Closed Doors.....and then my cookbook.......I plan on starting a catering business as well....it sounds like a lot, but its not too bad.  keeps me busy, keeps my mind occupied with positive things.  Well thats all for today.  I would type more, but I have somewhere to go....ttyl