Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Day 1

I have decided to blog all of my thoughts.  Noone knows who I am, noone knows what I am really thinking sometimes.  Although I tell people the truth about themselves, in a nice way of course, I still hold back a lot of things.  This is not to bash anyone, but to let people into my thoughts.  I have decided to write in her everyday and maybe publish it next year.  Lets start of with my love life. UGH..Its a doozey!! I really like this guy,  He's smart, HILARIOUS, great personality, he keeps things very open and honest, he has a career, he has his own things, (house, car, etc), he takes care of his children, even ones that may not be his.  I can see myself dating him exclusivly, but the problem is I just got out of a relationship and I dont want to ruch into anything.  Another truth is, Im afraid of having my heart broken again.  Yes, we all have to go thru heartbreaks to find true love, but Im not up for it.  I was raised to be a mother, wife, career woman. I dont know anything else.  I have been married before and I dont want to get married again.  Deep down, I do, but I will not get married again.  Once I catch feelings for someone, I run.  Run away from the possiblities of getting my heart broken........I am in the process of getting my CDL and becoming an over the road truck driver.  That way I cant possibly have a love life.  I will just love my kids.......thats all that matters at this point anyways.  My friend, my prospect has not given up on me.  he calls me every night and every morning... Even though his point of views are kinda jacked up lol I still like him.   He says that monogamy is not natural and that men are going to cheat.  I dont want a cheater. 
Career:  right now I am working for Bank Of america doing seasonal taxes for businesses.  Its been a long time coming after being out of work since April.  Its been stressful, no unemployment...My parents have been doing everything for me and I cant stand that.  I like having my own money and doing what I want with it.  I hate asking people for anything.  I want to get right so I can open up a business for myself and determine my own fate, my own future.  sign my own checks.  My goals for this year......finally get my 1st book out there, Behind Closed Doors.....and then my cookbook.......I plan on starting a catering business as sounds like a lot, but its not too bad.  keeps me busy, keeps my mind occupied with positive things.  Well thats all for today.  I would type more, but I have somewhere to go....ttyl

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